Coping with Fertility Problems

By Bentley, George, PhD posted 04-16-2019 22:55


A fertility problem diagnosis is a devastating blow. In an instant, your plans for having a family are placed in jeopardy. There is now every chance that these dreams will never become a reality. Facing an uncertain future, the couple experiencing fertility problems must seek a way forward.

Depending on the problem, different treatment options are available. The most common is an IVF procedure. However, there is no guarantee that it will work the first time around if at all. In the meantime, you need coping mechanisms to get you through this difficult time.

Here are some of the things couples should contemplate when diagnosed with fertility problems:

  1. Take your mind off the problem

Obsessing over the problem doesn’t make it go away. It induces stress and depression which could further hamper your attempts to fall pregnant. A positive frame of mind is essential.

There are many different options for couples to try:

Exercise is important. Your doctor will advise you that losing a few pounds and improving your fitness levels could have a positive effect on your fertility. Try a gym membership, walking club, or a new sport. It might take a while to find what works for you. Make sure the exercise you choose is something you enjoy.

Take up a hobby together or individually. Trying something completely new gives you something else to think about and look forward to doing. There are many hobbies for you to try. Look for something you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t for some reason.

  1. Talk about it

Bottling up your feelings of intense pain is hazardous for your mental and physical health. As a couple, you should be communicating with each other. Fertility problems place a massive strain on a relationship.

Diminishing communication may damage the relationship permanently. Seek couples’ counseling immediately if you sense that this is starting to happen.

Don’t limit yourself to talking only to your partner. Speak to family members and friends who can support you during this time. Knowing that people are thinking about you and praying for you is comforting.

Ask the people you choose to confide in to maintain your confidence by not spreading the story. People who genuinely care about you won’t gossip, and they won’t push you for more details than you’re prepared to share.

Seek help from a mental healthcare professional if you start to develop symptoms of depression. It is perfectly normal to feel depressed about the situation. In most cases, you need someone objective to talk to who can offer you advice on how to cope. Should the depression become severe, you may need medication to help you.

  1. Look toward the future

As much as there is help available, you need to prepare yourself for the fact that it may not be successful. It is unfair and painful, but it could become a reality. If it does, you need to know how to respond.

Don’t allow the ability to have a child to define who you are as a person. Thinking that being a parent is the only key to happiness will only make the disappointment worse. Not being able to have a child may change the way you planned your life, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have a life.

Regrets should not be a part of childless life. Above all, remember that being a real mom or dad is not merely about biology. A man may impregnate a woman, but that doesn’t make him a daddy. Similarly, a woman may fall pregnant, but that doesn’t make her a mommy. Infertility is not the end of the road in your quest to become a parent.